Tough Losses On What they teach You about Success

Many of those who had made it, as well as those who haven't made it yet, know what I'm talking about. You have been training incredibly hard and told yourself, "it would be different this time. This time I'm going to be the one collecting the silverware and the winners check."

But in the end it is like Deja Vu, and your world comes tumbling down yet again. Venus and Serena know the feeling all too well, because they made it to so may semi-finals and finals, just to lose.

So too does Andre Agassi, Martina Hingis, Goran Ivanesivic and arguably the world's most exciting rugby team, the All Blacks from New Zealand.

Sometimes you lose because you may not have prepared adequately, but most of the time you lose while you should have won. It is especially this fact, that makes the loss so hard to take.

Losses like these will either shape you as a champion, someone who triumphs through adversity, or a mere pretender.

As hard as they are, these losses teaches us something about success. It teaches us that success is not always about speed and power, but that it is sometimes about:

- Patience

- Mental focus

- Holding your nerve at critical moments

- Controlling your emotions, and..

- Thinking quickly and acting decisively

All of the above are qualities that a champion needs, but most aspiring winners and champions lack them. They think just because they have the power and the speed they have everything.

At the 1998 Wimbledon Final Goran Ivanesivic had all the power and the speed anyone could want, but he didn't have the patience and mental toughness that Pete Sampras had. The same can be said about the All Blacks from New Zealand who despite having the most lethal back-line in the rugby world were beaten by underdogs Australia.

Lets face it. When you are competing at the very top, there's very little that separates the winner from the loser in terms of preparation and physical conditioning.

The one who wins is usually the one who makes the least mistakes on the day and who can take the best decisions at critical moments.

At the top it is all about pressure. Physical and mental pressure. When you are in control of your emotions and you can handle all the pressure, it doesn't matter if you are down 5 zero. Because you can stop thinking about the score and focus on every point, just making sure that you secure it. When you do that the scoreboard will take care of itself.

Those who lose are usually not defeated by their opponents. They defeat themselves, by not being focused enough or not being in control of their emotions.

Most of the many semi-final and final matches Serena and Venus Williams lost can be blamed on unforced errors such as double faults. It took a while for them to get their emotions under control, but once they did, nobody could stop them.

So if you have experienced some tough losses, know this. It is not the end. It was just a lesson you needed to learn. Learn from it and you will soon become unstoppable. You will keep on winning and it wouldn't matter what any of your opponents do.

The Great Michael Johnson realized this and that is why he always said: "I don't think about other athletes, I only focus on myself. When I get it right, I will be the winner." As simple as that.

All the real-life examples I gave are from the sporting world, but they are not the only ones who experience pressure or tough losses. We all do. Imagine being invited for an interview for your dream job and not getting it because you were unable to give your best performance.

Tough losses are there to learn from. However if you don't learn from them, and change the things you do wrong, especially as far as your mental conditioning goes, you will always end up second best.

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