Applying for work is stressful, no matter the circumstances. Even if you are already working, and merely looking to see what else is out there, you still want to be offered the position. If you realize, half way through an interview, that you would be miserable working for this company and you wouldn't let your dog take the job, you still want it to be offered. If the hours are unsuitable, the job duties demeaning, and the salary a joke, you still want to be made an offer.

Why is it so important to us to have an offer made which we already know we will reject?

It is important because we are aware that we are being judged. We talk about skills and experience and prior accomplishments but that has already been outlined in a resume. A face-to-face interview is for the purpose of judging you as a person: Will you fit in? How do you express yourself? How do you look? Are you pleasant to have around? Are you likable?

If a job offer is made, we feel validated and worthwhile - they liked us. We never think "He really didn't like me but my skills are so great." We want to be liked, we want to be wanted, we want to be appreciated for what we are.

If no job offer is forthcoming, we take it personally: "I guess they didn't like me." Regardless of our whether our skills were a fit, our salary in the ballpark, or our experience applicable, we feel a personal failure. The negative messages of a lifetime, stored in our brain, start playing: "I'm just not good enough. I'm worthless. People don't like me. Why do I always mess up? I'm such a failure. Why can't I be more like . . . "

We mentally beat ourselves down by listening to those constantly recycling tapes. Our spirits sink, our energy evaporates, and our self-esteem plummets. This negativity, and its destructive effect on our psyche, can be contained by three techniques:

1. Awareness of what our mind is doing and consciously interrupting its tirade.

2. A refocus of our mental attention to prior successes and accomplishments, no matter how small, to counter the idea that we are lifelong screw-ups.

3. Reframing our value as a person from the specific employee/worker role into the total personality that we are: in our intimate and social relationships, in our family, in our community.

Applying for work sets us up to judged but we need to remind ourselves that only a small discrete portion of who we are is being examined. As a whole person, we are far more than a worker and no employer can judge us on our totality.

"Success to-day depends largely on concentrating on the Interior law of force, for when you do this you awaken those thought powers or forces, which, when used in business, insures permanent results."
*-- Theron Q.Dumont

Related Articles :

• Ten Tips for Your New Year's Job Search

It's a new year - and lots of people are thinking that maybe this year will be The Year of the New Job. If that describes you, then you'll want to start planning for your big exodus. But don't start strewing resumes........
 
• Want A Better Job? Try Working For Nothing!

Recently, I decided to enlarge my sales and marketing efforts through outsourcing, so I contacted a number of service bureaus about promoting my successful line of customer service and sales training.......
 
• 5 Ways to Increase the Value of a College Degree in a Competitive Job Market

As more students graduate with degrees, the value of the degree drops. Some degrees drop in value more than others, and a few are just downright worthless from the start. It isn’t surprising to me that those students.......

| Career At Home |

| Computer Work At Home Job | Home Based Employment | Work At Home Jobs | 
| Earning Money With A Home PC | Data Entry Jobs | Online Survey Job |
| Careers From Home Scam Free |
| Site Map 1 |